Book Review: "Why Did No One Tell Me This?: The Doulas' (Honest) Guide for Expectant Parents" by Natalia Hailes, Ash Spivak & Louise Reimer

TLDR:: A fantastic resource for anybody who is pregnant, thinking of becoming pregnant, newly postpartum, or a partner of anybody who is pregnant or postpartum! It provides so much information in an ultra relatable & casual format. A great baby shower gift!

I loved this book! Why Did No One Tell Me This? is my new go-to recommendation for any pregnant person. It packs in so much information and real-life doula tips, delivering it all in such a casual and relatable book. The book speaks directly to the reader, and it utilizes inclusive language! The quick-reference style of the text, where you don’t necessarily need to read it cover-to-cover, is very user friendly and inviting; you can very quickly find whatever section and information you are looking for. Furthermore, the chapters and sub-sections often are in question-form that may make you think “that’s exactly what I was curious about”, or they are cheeky phrases that make you say “that’s exactly what I was thinking!”

Between the cheeky, keep-it-real style of writing, and the drawings & diagrams that are accurate in so many ways, I found myself laughing through the entire book! The authors do a fantastic job making each part of their book engaging and relatable, helping to normalize so many aspects of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. This book seems to cover all the bases—pregnancy, labor preparation, birth education, postpartum information, and newborn care—in both a logistical sense and in a mental/emotional preparedness sense. It is truly a well-thought-out guide, full of doula tips & tricks.

Another reason I enjoy this book so much, is because it is just as user friendly for the pregnant/birthing person to read and utilize, as it is for the partner, or the grandparent-to-be, or another support person. I think its use of conversational language, as opposed to more clinical language, made it such an easy and enjoyable read, and I am not somebody who reads for enjoyment generally. The book also contains great quick reference boxes throughout the sections, providing snapshots of information, reassuring notes, and helpful doula tips. There is even a short section in the back of the book directed at partners, with some reminders for them to turn to if needed.

Why Did No One Tell Me This? is the first pregnancy & birth book I have read that gives you the real information that folks generally leave out or don’t want to discuss, like what actually happens when you tear during birth, and what if I never want to have sex again. The first half of the book focuses on the pregnant person getting to know their body and building their dream team for a successful pregnancy & birth. In the second half of the book, the doula authors offer “what if” questions, which address some of the nagging anxieties that many folks don’t want to ask out loud but are dying to know the answers to. The last section of the book is all about tools to return to, which contains some go-to information about the progression of labor, laboring positions, and early postpartum tips to ease worries. Overall, I think this book is a good read about general pregnancy, birth, and postpartum for nearly all pregnant folks.